WOO!!!
Ok...this is where I'm going to spill everything because no one ever reads this and especially not anyone I know. So here goes. First of all how can adoption be unethical? I mean how does that concept even get into someone's brain? Seriously? What is so wrong about adopting a child? because it's not part of you? Why is that so wrong? Because you didn't have it? Why should that matter? I mean as long as you're going to be a good mother and father to it why should it matter where the child came from. Does that mean that you shouldn't love any other children than the children that are the fruit of your loins? What is that about? I just don't understand people's reasoning. As if adoption is evil and wrong. Why wouldn't you want to give a child the opportunity to a better life. To be happy not to be stuck into a place where they're scared or ebing treated badly. I just don't understand that reasoning. I guess I never will. I mean ggrrg.. I'll shut up now. Now...on a I dunno...more confused note...which I'm not sure how I can more confused than I am about that...but here goes. I really have fallen in love with someone. I mean I can't help it. Everytime I see him I dunno and talk tohim. It's just unexplainable and I love him. Cherries. I just don't know what to do. I mean I really do feel as if I've fallen in loe with him but he just seems like it doesn't make a difference to him. I think he may like this other girl I don't know. He's old fashioned too, so Ic an't overstep my bounds and ask him out myself because that would just put him off to start with. I don't know. It just hurts. Like when I know he's been talking to the other girl. I dunno. It just hurts so badly. I mean I wouldn't take him away from her for the world because he's too great for me to take him away from anyone and maybe not because of her exactly...I mean I would respect her feelings...but more than her I love him so much I want him to be happy with whoever he will be happy with. If she makes him happier than I do or if he enjoys her company more than mine that's ok..I mean I'm going to be hurt and a little jealous but I would never try to take him away. Not that I think I could take anyone away from anybody...but the fact is that if I could I wouldn't because he deserves to be happy. I dunno. I just love him so much. I guess...oh well. I guess this is just a lovely chipper blog. So I'll talk toyou all later. Love you all. Sleep tight and cherries, strawberries, and lots of grapes.
YAY!!! LOOK HOW PRETTY!!! WOO HOO!!!
Ok...this is actually something I made for Tyler for a comment on myspace.com but it's prettyfied...lol so I put it on here...haha
I never knew how painful emotions could be. I mean I knew...but OH I NEVER KNEW either. I was talking to my best friend and the person I love the most in the whole world. He is my everything and he scared me to death. I thought he was going to tell me that he really didn't love me that he hated me or something and just didn't have the heart to tell me. You'd have to understand the whole story and I don't really feel like going into it right now. but I started crying and it was the hardest I ever cried in my whole life. I thought my heart was literally being torn from my chest small pieces at a time with excruciating pain!!! It was so horrid. I thought I might just crawl into a ball right then and there and die. Then he told me that that wasn't what he wanted to tell me. He wanted to tell me he loved me the mostest and that he didn't know what he would do without me. I thought I would kill him. But it made me feel better...I almost made him cry too. Wow...that was like the longest 20 minutes of my whole life, and I hope to NEVER relive that type of pain again. Well night you all. bye I just had to get that off my chest
I had a very interesting dream, today, when I fell asleep at about 3. Although, I suppose it would be categorized more as a nightmare...although, it wasn't night. It was just odd. I guess I'll tell you about it. I was at this college-like place with my Chemistry teacher and my best friend. I have really no idea what was going on until all of a sudden the guy that I like, his dad is there holding a gun, everyone but the guy I like and the rest of his family hides over near some tables that were lined up. I was in a corner where I couldn't see what was going on but I remember I just kept praying that his dad didn't shoot him or any of his family. Well, all of a sudden (as often occurs in dreams) his dad just runs out the door...but his dad was a different man entirely when he ran out the door. After his dad runs out the door somehow he and I end up walking down an alley together. I'm holding onto him for dear life asking if he is ok, crying, stroking and kissing his cheek, and his chin, and just making sure he is still there with me, and he's holding tight onto me with his arm around my waiste...with a steely(sp?) look on his face(which he always gets when he wants to pretend something isn't bothering him because he wants to be the strong one.) That's pretty much the end of it. It was just really weird, and that is the most feeling I have actually ever experienced in a dream. Oh well...there it is. I'll talk to you all later. Have a good weekend.
(Although the kiss in the dream wasn't like this...a girl can have her fantasies afterwords, right?)
Ok…well life isn’t fair, but we all know that. The fact is, how can two people that are so right for one another be completely oblivious to that fact. Actually, it’s more the guy that is oblivious. Let me explain because it’s a fact that neither of them are ever going to read this and find out that I said it. I have two friends, a guy and a girl. The girl is my best friend EVER we share everything and we are the closest that any two people could be. Well, that is with the exception of my other friend, the guy. She and he have been friends since she was 3 and he was 2. She tells him even MORE than she tells me, and he tells her the same. You can see they are truly in love with one another. It is a great love that I wish I could have, but the guy doesn’t see it. The girl…now that’s a different story entirely. She’s been in love with him, probably, since she was three. That seems like an exaggeration…. which it probably is…but that is the point I’m trying to make. She’s loved him for a long time. From the way he acts you can tell that he loves her too but somehow he is able to deny it and keep this fact from himself. All of his actions point directly to his love for her. The way they can talk and talk on the phone for hours and hours or on the internet…EVERYDAY…and never run out of things to talk about. The way they both can read one another like a book. How they know one another like the backs of their hands. How in all actuality they are actually boyfriend and girlfriend now but they haven’t actually put that official name on it. She loves him with all her heart and soul. For years she has gone in and out of relationships hoping that, with each one, he will take notice and get jealous and tell her that she is HIS…not someone else’s. Which, in all actuality he does do that…but he just leaves out the part of telling her he wants her for himself…and he doesn’t want anyone else to have her. When she dates other people he comes to me and complains about that person saying that they are stupid, dumb, completely wrong for her…when just the day before they got together he was chummy with the other guy. I asked him one time who wouldn’t be “completely wrong for her” and he said, “someone that will take care of her, love her, keep her, never let her go, never hurt her, never say he loves her before he truly means it, loves her too much yet not enough at the same time, not only wants her but NEEDS her, hugs her when she is in need, holds her hand, cuddles her and is content in that and doesn’t want her for sex, kisses her so gently and with such emotion that there is no doubt how much he is in love with her, someone that finds the very smell of her, JUST her…no special scents…intoxicating and imbibing to his senses, who loves her with every fiber of his being and would never, ever, ever leave her alone for ANY reason for any amount of time because he feels as though he might die if he is away from her.” That is seriously what he said. Now you tell me he isn’t in love with her. You tell me that he doesn’t want her, that he doesn’t need her, that he isn’t the man that is “completely right for her.” I hope one day they find one another and are able to share the love they have for one another because I think it would be one of the most powerful loves in the world.
This is pathetic...I know that's a song. I'm sure it is. Only thing is is that I really have no idea what it's about. lol You would think if I were an informed 17 year old I would at least know because I hear other people talking about it. lol Oh well...what the heck. Anyway. I'm sitting here talking to Tyler. Well ok actually he's not talking that much...and well I guess neither am I...but that's because he's watching Family Guy.lol I hate to disturb him. It's one of his favorite shows. lol Ahhh...OH...wait. I guess I do have something to say. I suppose I have a minor interest in a guy that I met at the grocery store. His name is Jared...he was the casher Sunday when my mom and I went into Food City. I don't really know if I can say I like him or anything, but he seemed pretty nice from what I could tell. I think he may have been flirting with me too...but I dunno...I'm really bad at those sorts of things. lol Oh well...nothing will happen anyway..nothing ever does. I think that people should leave me oblivious to the fact that people are flirting with me because anytime they tell me I end up not even getting the chance to have a chance with them...maybe if I remained oblivious I would get the chance to mess up...who knows. Oh well. Anyway...blah...I guess I'll talk to you all later. Have fun and have a great day. Be good. bye
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